Here are some stories that I shared recently in my email newsletter. They really seemed to connect with people so I said I would share them here also.
Chapter 1: October 2016
It’s a grey October afternoon in Ireland and I’m waiting to see a specialist about possible stomach ulcers. I am convinced that I have one. I seem to have all the symptoms and I am living on antacid tablets. Unsurprisingly, my scope shows no sign of ulcers. Little do I know that my body is trying to tell me that it’s overwhelmed and overworked. I am battling so much negative self talk and stress.
Everyone around me seems to have their life together; building houses, getting married and having kids. And here I am; 32 years old, back in Ireland after 5 years living abroad and struggling to feel ‘settled’ at home. My love life is a mess. I’m not sure about my teaching career. I’m back studying because that seems like the ‘right’ thing to do. I am so frustrated and annoyed with my path. Why isn’t my life working out for me the way I thought it would?
I look back at this version of myself now and realise I was so lost, but I didn’t know it. There is such a better way to live and experience life. It starts with you and the stories you tell yourself.
Does this sound familiar?
Are you feeling frustrated with the results in your life?
Chapter 2: December 2017
I’m back in my childhood bedroom for the Christmas break. I have just had my 33rd birthday. I know I should make an effort to head out with friends but I just couldn’t be bothered. I feel really flat. I had applied for a variety of teaching positions..I didn’t get any. I had hoped one of them might work out and that this change would provide me with some direction. I feel like I am knocking on doors and really trying to get outta this funk, but nothing is sticking. Instead I plan to spend the festive season reading a book: ‘‘The Choice’ by Edith Eger. A colleague could see how lost I was and recommended it to me. Little do I know, this book will have a profound impact on my life.
Inspired by the wisdom in this book, I promise myself that I am going to do things differently in 2018. I haven’t a clue HOW, but I know there has to be another way to experience life.
Are you feeling like you want to do things differently but you need help with the HOW?
This is where I can help?
Do it- take a risk!
Chapter 3: January 2018
I’m walking out of Dundrum shopping centre in disbelief. I have just had the most amazing chat with a 77 year old stranger in Bewleys coffee shop!
So let me paint the scene: I am sitting in this busy coffee shop after a pretty hectic day teaching. I don’t know how I wandered into Bewleys- I don’t even drink coffee! When I sit down, a glamorous elderly lady starts to strike up a conversation with me. Her name is Margaret.
Over the course of an hour, Margaret tells me how she emigrated to America at 17 from Dublin and met her husband in California. She shares lots of wonderful memories; how they couldn’t have children, their travelling adventures and how she coped after her husband’s death. She even gives me holiday tips for America. Before I know it, I am spilling out my stories; how lost I feel, that I don’t know where I belong and how much I would love to meet someone. She shares some epic wisdom with me:
- Date a quiet man. Stop going for the ‘flash Harrys’ (Margaret’s words, not mine)
- Give someone 3 dates. No one is truly themselves on date 1 and by date 3, you are either interested or not. Make up your mind.
- Listen to your intuition. You’ll know where you are meant to be when the opportunity arises.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY; don’t make decisions based on what everyone else is doing. If you have regrets in your 30’s, you don’t want to meet yourself in your 70’s! Those regrets eat you up and make you bitter!
A month after meeting Margaret, I randomly ‘google’ education jobs in Australia. A coaching job pops up at a university. A few weeks later I am resigning from my PERMANENT teaching job in Ireland, selling my car and moving to Melbourne ON MY OWN to start this new job. Some people think I am mad and ask if I am having some type of mid-life crisis.
But I know..for the first time ever, I am getting into the driving seat of my life.. and boy does it feel good!
So how about you?
Are you feeling like you need to shake things up and take a leap of faith?
Chapter 4: January 2019
It’s a hot, stinking summer’s day in Melbourne. I am just back from a beach walk to try and clear my head. I have settled really well into my new life, but I still notice patterns of self doubt and anxiety. I worry that I am behind everyone. I feel like my old mindset is creeping back in, despite the change of scenery. There are two Christmas packages waiting for me when I get back to my apartment. I rip open the first one from my brother and a book..‘The Choice’ tumbles out. I smile. The wise words of Edith Edgar are back to remind me of her wisdom.The second one is from my friend Carol. Inside is a pen, but not just any old pen. It’s from one of the hotels in America that Margaret recommended.
So here I am with Edith and Margaret’s wise words ringing in my ear reminding me that I have a choice; I am the author of my destiny. It is all up to me. I know this is my sign to keep trusting my life path and listen to my intuition. The validation and guidance I am seeking is already within me. I start to work with a mentor and begin to meditate and journal daily. As the year draws to a close, I have been accepted into my coaching PhD program. Another chapter begins…
Have you had signs pop in your life guiding you?
Perhaps this is your sign today to step up and take control of your life.
Chapter 5: June 2020
I am just finishing off a busy day of working from home. This pandemic lark is rumbling on longer than expected. Just as I turn off my screen, I remember I never replied to a text message from the guy I have started dating. I check my phone..yep its been 24 hrs since he messaged and I have yet to reply. I had genuinely forgotten. I am so shocked at myself.
In the past, I would worry and analyse messages and conversations. I would repeatedly check to see if the ‘blue tick’ had appeared. Did he see it? Did he read it? Should I send another message? Should I wait to reply? Is he still alive? Maybe I’ll play it cool? {Sound familiar?haha} On and on that fearful inner monologue would go. It was so exhausting and anxiety-inducing.
I start to laugh as I realise I have just had a moment of growth..like proper adult growth! All this personal development work has brought me to this point where I could honestly say I was no longer consumed by what some random guy thought of me. I know my worth and feel secure. I totally trust that what is for me won’t pass me by.
Little did I know that this ‘random’ guy would propose to me a year later and we would get married in Melbourne and again in Ireland in 2022. It is amazing the love, happiness and joy that comes into your life when you start to invest in yourself and your journey.
As you listen to this chapter, when have you last invested in yourself?
What beliefs and thoughts run through your inner dialogue?
Do these stories build you up or break you down?
Well let me tell, this is my favourite thing to work on with my clients; to help them untaggle these stories and sow the seeds for more positive encouraging personal beliefs. This is where the magic REALLY happens.
Chapter 6: October 2021
This is it…I hit the ‘post’ button and physically leap into the air away from my phone. Ahhhhhhh. I can feel so much nervous energy rushing through my body. Straight away, I want to throw my phone out the window and run away and hide! I have just posted my very first post on my own business account.
For months, I have been squirrelling away, brainstorming and imagining a coaching business I would love to set up. The thought of it fills me with equal measures of excitement and embarrassment. Time and time again, my mind fills with the same old story: what will people say about me? Will they be thinking ‘the notions of this one’? Will they be laughing at me behind my back? What if it fails? What if I mess up?
I have to repeatedly bring myself back to the present moment and reset. Using meditation, affirmations and daily journaling, I am slowly untangling these old stories. I know this is something I feel drawn to do. I’m not sure exactly what it will become, but I know the first step is showing up online and putting it out there. This is another leap of faith that I need to take! Lets see where it takes me…
And here I am nearly a year later…emailing nearly 150 of you random stories from my life!
Today’s question: what is one leap of faith you would love to take? Maybe it’s changing careers or starting your own business.
Perhaps there are certain friendships or relationships you would love to walk away from. So often, we are waiting to feel READY, waiting for the RIGHT moment to start or leave! Unfortunately, I don’t think that uneasy feeling of change never fully goes away. The real challenge is learning to embrace the fear, even welcome it. Because if you feel the fear, then you know you are about to see change and most importantly GROWTH!
Take this as your little reminder to take a step towards your own leap of faith, whatever that might be.
Chapter 7: November 2021
A word of caution; today’s story deals with the delicacy of pregnancy loss, so please feel free to sit this one out. I only share this story in the hope that it helps others to find light in those dark storms of life.
It’s the morning of our wedding and true to form, Melbourne has decided to unleash the rain! I can’t believe this day has arrived. I often wondered if I would meet someone and today I get to marry my best friend! I never envisioned marrying someone my family have never met, whilst they watch along on zoom in Ireland. But here we are..making the most of our weird pandemic world!
The week leading up to this day has been such a contrast of darkness and light. Less than 2 weeks before our wedding and 12 weeks pregnant, I learned that our little bub had no heartbeat. I don’t know how I walked out of that health clinic. It felt like a blur. My partner had to pick me up from the car park floor. My body gave way and tears began to flow. As my body didn’t show signs of a natural miscarriage, I was put under general anesthetic for a procedure, just 48hours before our wedding day.
I had always imagined that the days leading up to my wedding would be spent pampering myself; getting facials, picking up last minute bits..just swanning around, living my best. I never imagined this would be my wedding story and definitely not how I envisioned I would begin motherhood. Having never experienced something like this before, these maternal emotions are new, raw and mind blowing. There is nothing else for me to do, but surrender and trust. Not overly religious, I repeatedly ask for spiritual guidance and help. I can’t really put in words what happened that week, but I felt like I was being carried by something greater. I just know I am so grateful for all the inner work I had been doing, as I relied heavily on those tools in the days leading up to our wedding.
Back in the bridal suite, I lay out all the wedding cards, memorabilia and tokens that friends and family have sent me. I want to be surrounded by all their well wishes and positive energy as I prepare today for our Melbourne wedding. I know they are walking alongside me. Then I put on my headphones and begin my meditation practice.
I share this story with you, not for sympathy but to show that working on your mindset does not give you an instagramable ‘namaste’ life. INSTEAD, it gives you something better. It gives you the tools and strategies to ride the waves of life better, to enable you to stay afloat and flourish even during the dark times.
Real life can not be filtered like an Instagram photo.
It’s raw. It’s real. It catches you by surprise with some pretty harsh truths.
BUT..
It’s also glorious! And fun. And magical. And full of small moments of real love.
Chapter 8: May 2022
I hear a knock at the cabin door and the shuffle of feet as they move off down the garden path. Breakfast has arrived. I slowly ease myself out of the comfy bed and make my way to the door. There on the doorstep is a little basket with hot bread, a little jar of homemade jam and a glass bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice. I bring my feast indoors and do a little dance of celebration. I instantly jump back into the big bed and lash on the electric blanket up the max. There I lie..like a little toasty burrito, the smell of fresh bread filling my little cabin. In this moment, I feel so satisfied and at ease. Life is bloody good!
At the start of 2022, I decided this was going to be my year of self love; listening to my body and mind more and doing what I love often. In the past, I felt I needed to keep up with the crowd. To be honest, I didn’t even really know what I liked to do for fun..I just did what other people were doing. However, the more I get to know myself, the more I honor what that little inner voice tells me.
So here I am… nestled in a little cabin outside Melbourne in the Dandenong Mountains for a weekend on my own. There is something equally scary and exhilarating about spending time totally on your own in nature. This is when you REALLY hear those inner stories..hahaha.. there are no distractions! I highly recommend everyone tries this at some stage.
As we wrap another busy week, lets take a moment…
What do you really love to do?
When did you really listen to what your mind and body wants?
Where could you say NO to allow you more time to the things you love to do?
(Remember: we don’t have to say yes to every invite we get)
In closing….
And so ends my chapters for now. My whole purpose behind this recent email campaign is to share my own journey and how investing in myself is allowing me to create my life by design. I also wanted it to be a little reminder that no matter where your life is taking you right now…you are not alone! We are all just spinning around on this random rock in space trying to figure out life.
With love,
MC
Amazing. So honest and raw. I can relate to so much of what you have written ❤️🙏