How often have you set a goal, given it your all and then it doesn’t work out the way you wanted?
You tell yourself things like ‘I am getting a new job this year’ or ‘I am going to put myself out there and start dating again’. Before you know it, weeks or months have rolled by and your results are still the same, even though you might have felt like you were putting the hard work in to achieve it. This is something I can TOTALLY relate to. I often struggled to see the results I wanted in my life both personally and professionally. After some serious soul searching, I began to try a different approach that I can honestly say has changed my life, especially in the last few years.
Lets imagine our goal or vision as a seed. We pop it into the ground, hoping it will flourish and grow. However, we start to get impatient and anxiously watch over it.
We start to wonder why our goal isn’t working out and then get consumed by the timeline of events. We get so focused on it happening in a particular way that we miss all the other things happening around us. We then repeatedly dig up the seed to see if it’s growing/germinating. Guess what? The seed never grows!
The biggest lesson I have learnt is that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence..meaning just because you can’t see proof of your goal RIGHT NOW doesn’t mean your goal isn’t working out. You just have to trust! Sometimes that seed just needs abit more time.
Now whenever I set a goal, I follow these simple steps to allow my goal to fully flourish.
- Do less!!! This sounds ridiculous and the opposite to what you think you should do, but believe me, it works. In the past if I wanted to achieve something, I would be doing 100 different things and looking at all avenues. I would really try to force it to happen. It never worked…or if it did work out, it didn’t bring me the joy or peace that I wanted.
- Spend more time in stillness. Instead of constantly hustling and working, I now spend alot more time in meditation and reflection. This helps me to unpack what I really want instead of doing what I think I SHOULD do. It also helps me feel calmer and more in tune with what my inner voice/gut instinct is telling me. Your gut never steers you wrong!
- Doing the next inspired action. By doing less and being in a calmer state of mind, I feel I am a lot more present in my day to day. This helps me make better decisions. Instead of just reacting to things in my world, I am take time and respond. I do what feel rights for me in that moment.
- Make ‘feeling good’ your daily focus. I now realise the importance of looking after my mind, body and soul. When I feel good, great things come my way. So when I am unsure of what to ‘do’ next, I just think about what would make me feel good today. Maybe it’s taking some time to write or a lunchtime walk in my local park. Sometimes it’s a 20 minute nap or a morning dip in the sea before work. This also helps me to tame that inner control freak and let go of micro-managing the outcome of my goal. My energy goes into feeling good in the here and now, not just when I achieve my goal.
Although my own journey is still a work in progress (aren’t we all), working on my mindset and my state of being has truly transformed my approach to goal setting, both personally and professionally. There is real power in stillness. My greatest inspired ideas have come from embracing this slower pace of doing. I have also found I am better able to face different challenges as they appear. And the best bit? When I least expect it, my goal ‘seedling’ pops up from the ground in the form of a wonderful opportunity or connection.
Imagine what greatness could come our way if we did less, reflected more and trusted that everything was working out for us?
MC